


Let Us Cling Together (as the years go by)

by MidnightFragments



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 20:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7947352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightFragments/pseuds/MidnightFragments
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yukimura wakes up after seven years of being in a coma, and Sanada's life turns upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Us Cling Together (as the years go by)

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thanks to [holy](http://holycowbrowniekitty.tumblr.com/) for being my beta - you are amazing and I love you!  
> I have no idea what are the names of Yukimura's family members, and I know he has a sister in canon but I chose to make it a brother.  
> Title from Queen's Teo Torriatte.

Sanada only stays long enough to excuse himself from the courts before he hurriedly makes his way to the hospital. He spends the long bus drive rehearsing the conversation he will have with Yukimura when his buchou wakes up, though there is really only one way it can go: badly.

Yukimura will ask right away, and Sanada will tell him that they lost – that _he_ lost – and Yukimura will try to pretend it is okay, but his eyes will get clouded and his voice will shake.

Sanada promised him he'd win.

This is the first time Sanada breaks his promise.

And Yukimura will act like everything is fine, because there's only one thing Yukimura Seiichi loves and cares about more than tennis, and this thing is Sanada Genichirou.

In the end, it doesn't matter what he wants to say.

A day turns into a week, and a week into a month. Yukimura never wakes up. And Sanada… he is devastated.

~

When Yukimura opens his eyes, it takes him some very long moments to remember where he is. The familiar surroundings of the hospital come back to him after a while – the beeping of the heart monitor, the hustle and bustle of the halls outside the thin door, the smell of medications and cleaning materials in the air.

There isn't anyone in the room, and his mind feels like it's been filled with fog that won't let him move his body, making it impossible to sit up or even reach for something to call a nurse.

His heart clenches a little bit at being alone. Sanada was supposed to be here, a gold medal around his neck and a stern look on his face. His family should have been here as well; Ren promised to be next to him when he woke up.

Time passes – minutes or hours, he doesn't know – and at some point, when the dizziness disappears, he starts counting the beeps as a time measure.

He tries moving his limbs while waiting. His fingers seem to move slower than he'd like them to, and the muscles in his arms and legs feel weak and uncooperative. He feels weird in his body, somehow, like this wasn't the body he went into surgery with. Then again, the whole point of getting this surgery was to change the way his body felt – to stop the seizures and to regain full control of his muscles. It's probably a _good_ thing he feels different.

The door opens quietly when he reaches 6,532 beeps, and in walks a sweet-looking nurse. She is short and her frame is rounded, her black hair tied in a ponytail that, along with her cheerful expression, makes her look younger than she probably is. She doesn't really look at Yukimura as she checks the monitor prints to make sure everything is alright.

"How are you today, Yukimura-kun?" she hums quietly more than asks, still not looking at him. Yukimura barely catches her words. "Feeling comfortable enough?"

"It would be nice if you could help me sit up," he says. "My back starts hurting." His voice comes out weak and croaky, his words breaking in the middle, not quite clear. He blames it on the anesthesia.

The nurse shrieks and turns around, startled, dropping the clipboard she was holding and bringing her hand to her chest. She looks at him with wide eyes, exhaling the breath she was holding in after a couple seconds.

"Yukimura-kun!" she exclaims. "You're— you're awake!"

He looks at her oddly. It occurs to him that he doesn't know this nurse, though he had turned familiar with most of the staff in the department. The hospital has been his home for three weeks, and he learned to recognize his doctors by names, to tell which nurse is who and what everyone's social status in the hospital is. Nurses talk _a lot_.

When the silence stretches without the nurse showing any indication of moving, he clears his throat and speaks again. "Where are my parents?" His broken voice annoys him; not being able to have full control over his limbs was bad enough, he didn't need his vocal cords to betray him as well.

Something finally shows on the nurse's face, and she hurries to apologize and pick up her clipboard. "I will go get a doctor, Yukimura-kun. Please wait just a moment."

Yukimura sighs. She could have at least helped him sit up.

~

Sanada's proposal plan is every bit as cliché as one would expect of him. He's been thinking about it for months, and has come to the realization that a public, large, show-off declaration of eternal love would not be Ayame's first choice, but a quiet, romantic night at home just didn't seem to be enough.

Ayame loves gestures. She doesn't care if Sanada spends thousands of yens on a gift for her or if he spends no money at all, as long as he puts some thought behind it. She loves it when he brings her home a single iris because he passed by the flower shop and thought about her; when he goes out of his way to get her the sushi from that particular restaurant she likes. Her favorite gift to this day, she says, is the canvas Sanada gave her for marking two years together, with a background of gently drawn irises (courtesy of Sasuke, who has turned out to be quite the artist), on which he wrote with the best calligraphy skills he could manage after years of practicing it, "A single iris is more beautiful than the largest bouquet".

It was cheesy and he blushed as he gave it to her, but she hung it on the wall above her bed the next day and took it down only when she moved in with him (the first thing she did when the boxes were all inside was dig out the canvas and hang it on the wall again).

When it comes to his proposal, Sanada doesn't think she'll be any different. Something intimate, yet romantic and thoughtful.

In the end, he gets her best friend, Yumi, to take her out for shopping and uses the time to prepare the apartment. He arranges scented candles to lead the way from the door to the roof, where he decorates the floor with rose petals and hopes for there to be no wind by the time they get there. He prepares a bottle of cabernet sauvignon in the fridge and enough ice for keeping in chilled once it'd be out, and he spends a few hours making sure the apartment is cleaner than it ever was.

Ayame is supposed to meet him for dinner at the restaurant they went to on their first date, and Sanada will recreate that day, only without the awkwardness they felt back then. He will take her on a walk in the park after dinner, where they had their first kiss, and then to the Ferris wheel where they agreed to give their relationship a shot to the view on the city lights.

When they will get back home, the lights will all be off, and Yumi will make sure all the candles are lit and the bottle of wine will be set in a bucket of ice on the roof for them to drink.

Sanada has a whole speech, though he is pretty sure when the moment comes he will throw it to hell and just talk from his heart.

And if all goes according plan, by the end of the day he will have a fiancée.

Only things don't always go as planned, and faith chooses this particular day to turn Sanada Genichirou's world upside down once again.

He is waiting outside the restaurant, fifteen minutes before Ayame is due to arrive (because hell will freeze over the day Sanada will let his date wait for him, even for a couple minutes), when he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket.

Frowning at the name, he answers, "Hello."

It's been a long time since he heard Yukimura Yuzuki's voice, but it still sounds off to his ears when she says, "Hello, Genichirou-kun."

"How are you, Yuzuki-san?" he asks, trying to come up with a reason for her to call him out of the blue and failing miserably.

"I don't want to bother you, Genichirou-kun," she says, leaving his question unanswered. "But I know you'd want to hear it as soon as possible, instead of finding out later." There is a short break, when he can practically hear her hesitation, but then she says, gently, "Sei-kun woke up."

And Sanada's world shatters to pieces around him.

Five minutes later, he is already in his car on his way to Tokyo, to the hospital. He forgets to call Ayame.

~

Yukimura doesn't really believe the doctor when he tells him with a sad and comforting voice that he has been "sleeping" for seven years, thinks his teammates somehow got the hospital staff to be in on a joke, until his brother barges into the room, followed by his parents.

The boy who's jumping on the bed and wrapping his arms around him is definitely Ren, but he is absolutely not the 8-year-old kid who saw him out before his surgery. Despite his looks, Yukimura's arms come up in an instinct to hug him back.

It's a relief to be able to feel his arms normally again, though his muscles are still weak from years of not being active.

When his brother lets go of him, Yukimura can take a better look at his family. He looks at them and realizes they have all changed.

The thing that stands out the most about his mother is her expression. Yukimura Yuzuki used to smile at everything, her face always bright with joy. Now, the only traces left of her constant smile are wrinkles by her tired looking eyes. Touches of silver show in her dark hair, and her face seems to have aged more than the seven years they should have.

His father's face shows the same over-aging signs, and he has gained some pounds over the years, his shirt stretched on his stomach.

But Ren is the one who he can't take his eyes off of, because his little brother has changed _so much_. He's had a growth spurt or two, and has already started to lose some of his baby fats. His hair, the same color as his own, is now long enough to reach his shoulder blades, and there is a wound on his neck that looks like he got while shaving. He is no longer the innocent boy who used to look up to his brother like the sun was shining from his eyes. His face now expresses worry and pity behind the happy smile he is trying to put on.

His mother comes over and hugs him, her hug as warm and as motherly as he remembers. "Welcome back, Sei-kun," she says, her voice shaking.

"Mother," is all he says. What else is he supposed to say at a moment like this?

"How are you feeling?" she asks, taking his hand in hers.

"I—" He doesn't know how to continue the sentence. "Weird," is what he says eventually.

"It's okay," she smiles.

It seems as though his family doesn't know what to say as well. When the silence stretches, he breaks it with the only question he can bring himself to voice out loud. "Sanada?"

His parents' share a hesitant look that Yukimura doesn't miss even though they try to be subtle. "He is on his way," his mother finally says. "I called him as soon as we've been informed you're awake."

Yukimura nods, relief washing over him. When Sanada gets here things will be alright. Sanada always makes things alright.

~

There is this feeling that is causing his heart to clench that Sanada doesn't understand as he makes the short drive between Kawasaki and Tokyo, as if somewhere deep down inside of him he didn't want Yukimura to wake up. He slaps that thought away angrily. _Of course_ he wanted Yukimura to wake up. He had been wishing for that to happen for years.

He just never expected for it to happen on the day he was going to propose to someone else.

Yukimura and he used to joke about marriage. Knowing they couldn't get married to each other always made them cynic about the subject, though Sanada thinks Yukimura is one of those people who'd want a huge wedding with a magnificent cake and a large venue and flower arrangements given the opportunity.

This line of thoughts is what causes him to finally connect his phone to the car's Bluetooth and dial Ayame's number. He needs to at least tell her he'll be away, for a few hours or a few days he doesn't know.

She picks up after the first ring. "Genichirou! You are ten minutes late, I was getting worried!" she says, her laughing and happy voice not completely covering the actual worry she probably feels. He's never been late to anything in his life. _Except,_ his mind reminds him, _for Yukimura's surgery. And look how_ that _turned out._

"I'm sorry, Ayame. I know it's too late for it, but I have to cancel our plans. Something came up."

She sighs on the other side of the line. "It's okay," she says.

"I'm not sure how long I'll be gone. Probably not more than a few hours, but it could possibly be a day or two," he says. "You should call a taxi. I don't want you to take the subway this late."

He can imagine her soft smile. "It is okay, Genichirou. I'm a big girl, I'll be fine." There is a short moment of silence that usually accompanies their conversations. Sanada loves the fact Ayame doesn't feel the need to fill every moment with words. "Should I ask about the important thing that came up suddenly?"

Sanada has never lied to Ayame, and he doesn't plan to start today. He also acknowledges the fact that telling her the entire truth this time might not be a great idea, since she knows who Yukimura is and what he means to Sanada, and she might get hurt knowing he canceled up on her for him.

He settles on the best thing he can think about. "I'm still not entirely sure, I'm on the way to Tokyo to figure it out. I'll tell you everything when I come back home."

The hospital feels familiar. Sanada knows the way to Yukimura's room by heart, has walked these hallways more times than he can count.

He used to spend his days here, right after Yukimura's surgery, when he still thought his boyfriend was going to open his eyes any moment. Slowly, his visits turned less and less frequent, though he still came every few months just to talk to the sleeping man. He brought flowers every birthday, the kind that Yukimura grew in his garden, and he hoped that he knew Sanada was still there even though Yukimura himself wasn't… not really.

The door to the small room is opened, and quiet voices come out of it. He stops right beside it and listens.

"Ren is in high school now," Yukimura's mother says. "He is in the basketball club and is great at it, but if he keeps slacking off at school we will have to do something about it." Her voice is lively in a way Sanada can only remember from before the surgery. He hasn't heard it like that for years, now.

Ren mutters something under his breath that Sanada cannot understand, and then–

"I will make sure you work hard from now on, Ren-Ren."

Sanada's breath leaves his body. This is Yukimura's voice; the gentle, soft, quite feminine voice that used to be his favorite sound in the world. It is hoarse from not being used and it's a little deeper than it was back when they were teenagers, but it's his voice nonetheless.

He had _missed_ this voice, had dreamed about it at nights.

He finally takes that last step and walks into the room, clearing his throat.

Yukimura hasn't changed much from the last time Sanada saw him, two months ago on his 24th birthday. His hair is still kind of messy from not being attended for so long, his body still thin and limbs still limp from not being used.

But his violet eyes are as bright as they always were, and he is sitting straight in his bed. The brightest smile lights up his face the moment he sees Sanada.

"Genichirou!" he calls, his voice just a bit higher than it was a couple moments before and his smile still huge.

Sanada stares. He knows all the eyes in the room are following him, but in a heartbeat he decides he doesn't care. He takes two large steps and wraps his arms around the slim body of Yukimura Seiichi, and he buries his face in the crook of his neck and breathes deeply, inhaling the smell that is _Seiichi_ under the one of the hospital and the medications.

He feels the other man's arms come up to return the hug, and though their strength is nothing like it used to be, it's still enough.

"Welcome back," he whispers into Yukimura's neck.

Yukimura tightens his arms around him, just a little bit.

The sound of a chair being dragged back makes him stand straight again, and when he looks back he sees Yukimura's family all standing up. "We will give you some time while we talk to the doctor," Yuzuki-san says, her eyes warm and filled with joy.

Yukimura's father nods with agreement and walks out the room, but Ren gives them a questioning look before following his parents. Sanada thinks maybe the boy never knew about their relationship.

Taking one of the chairs that has just been emptied and bringing it closer to the bed, he sits down and takes Yukimura's hand in his. "I missed you," he says.

Yukimura turns his head to the window. "I'm sorry, I… it feels like I just saw you yesterday. I can't imagine what you feel."

Sanada nods, understanding. "How are you feeling?"

When Yukimura returns his eyes to Sanada, his expression is thoughtful. "Tired," he says, after a while of thinking about it. "Like I woke up from a too-long sleep and all I want to do is close my eyes and stay in bed."

"And your limbs?" he asks, not forgetting the reason why Yukimura went into surgery in the first place.

Yukimura smiles. "Feeling better, like I finally have a full control over them, though they're pretty heavy. Probably atrophy of the muscles, so I should be able to get over it." He looks like he hesitates for a moment, before asking, "Did you win?"

Sanada frowns. "What?"

Yukimura blushes and lowers his gaze to his lap. "The Kantou final. Did you win?"

A wave of pity washes over Sanada, almost knocking the breath right out of him again. He hadn't thought about Rikkaidai's match against Seigaku for years, had been more focused on the fact that Yukimura never opened his eyes after the surgery than the fact that he never got to hear the result of the match, eventually.

Yukimura is still a 17-year-old in his mind, still the captain of the best high school tennis team in Japan.

Sanada needs a few moments to process the sudden realization, the fact that even though he had moved on in his life – had built a life for himself – Yukimura still hasn't.

"We lost," he says after a while. "Won doubles 1 and 2, but dropped all singles." The thought of his lost had stopped burning in his veins a long time ago, but Yukimura's eyes are close to bring it back. "Forgive me," he says. "I failed to keep my promise."

For a short moment he thinks Yukimura will reprimand him, but then the blue-haired boy does something he didn't expect him to: he starts laughing. A strong, loud, uncontrolled laughter that rings an alert in Sanada's ears. He doesn't know what to say, though, so he just waits for the other man to relax and tell him what's so funny.

Yukimura is still snickering when he finally explains, "I'm sorry, it's just so _absurd_ , you know? I wake up after seven years, and the most urgent question I can think about is whether my team won their match or not. Like any of it matters right now. Like I have nothing more important to think about at the moment." Somewhere during his rant, the laughter turns into tears. By the time he continues, his shoulders are shaking and he is determinedly keeping his eyes focused on his lap. "I lost seven years of my life – seven _fucking_ years – and all I can think about is tennis. What the fuck is wrong with me?"

Sanada squeezes his hand and grits his teeth. "It is alright, Seiichi. It is completely understandable. For you, it's like you went into surgery only a few hours ago. It's obviously going to take some time to wrap your mind around it."

"What am I going to do, Genichirou?" Yukimura whispers. "What am I supposed to do with my life?"

Sanada has no answer.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" He is finally looking at Sanada again, and the answer leaves his mouth before he even has time to think about it.

"Of course."

~

At some point during the evening, when his family has left for the night and it is just the two of them again, Sanada climbs into Yukimura's bed. They both move around a little bit until they're comfortable, Yukimura's back against Sanada's chest, and Sanada's arms around his waist. Yukimura loves it.

"Are you still playing tennis?" he asks Sanada, curious.

"No," he answers. "I stayed in the club after the Nationals, but stopped playing when I graduated high school. There was no point, I guess."

"What about the others?"

"Akaya turned pro. He is doing well, only 22 years old and already in the top 15 on the ATP ranking. The others all quit as well, though I know Niou and Yagyuu still meet every few weeks for street-doubles. Jackal is back in Brazil, aiming for a Master's in economics as far as I know, and Marui got married to that cute girl he started seeing a couple weeks before your surgery. They have a daughter already, and they live in Osaka."

Yukimura is torn between feeling happy for his friends and pitying himself for being stuck in the past. "What about Renji?"

"He is still in Kawasaki. He is teaching math to middle schoolers now. He has a fiancée, they are going to get married in September."

"September… What month is it now?" he hadn't even bothered to ask for the date yet.

"It's May 23rd, Tuesday."

"So I missed your birthday by two days! What a shame." Add it to the list of things he had missed. "What about you?" he asks, mainly to keep the conversation going so he doesn't sulk. "You arrived quickly. Where do you live?"

Sanada tenses behind him. Yukimura pretends he doesn't notice. "I still live in Kawasaki, too. I studied Japanese and English here in Tokyo, and I teach both in the same school Renji works at."

Yukimura closes his eyes and lets his head rest on Sanada's shoulder. "I never thought you'd become a teacher. Somehow, I always imagined both of us playing tennis until our bodies couldn't take it anymore, and then retreating to a small town somewhere in the mountains." The thought of Sanada as a teacher is adorable, though, in his eyes.

"Yeah," Sanada agrees. His thumbs are caressing Yukimura's stomach softly, though he thinks Sanada isn't actually aware of that. The feeling is nice, so he doesn't comment on it. "Somewhere where no one would bat an eye over our relationship."

"Where you'd be away from the city's tumult and commotion."

"Where you could look outside the window and be inspired for your paintings."

Yukimura smiles. "We could still do that, Genichirou."

Then it happens again, Sanada's body tensing beneath him. He opens his eyes immediately.

"Seiichi…" His voice is no longer dreamy, but kind of stressed. Yukimura prepares himself. "I have a girlfriend, now."

Yukimura clenches his teeth, feeling the pain (the emotional pain, the one that runs through his veins and hurts everywhere) the words are causing. "What is her name?"

"Ayame."

Yukimura wants to vomit. "Is it serious?"

Sanada takes a deep breath, his chest rising underneath Yukimura. "I have a ring in my pocket."

Suddenly, Yukimura understand the fancy suit Sanada is wearing. He was wondering about it when he showed up. "Were you going to propose today?"

Sanada's hands seem to tighten around him, and it hurts more than Yukimura can handle, because he doesn't want Sanada's hugs if he can't have _Sanada_. "I was."

Yukimura sniffs. "Well, you don't have to stay, you know. You could have said you already had plans when I asked you to."

"Don't be silly," Sanada murmurs. "I _want_ to stay. I came here the moment I heard you woke up."

Yukimura doesn't say anything. His brain knows it has been seven years; that Sanada had to move on at some point. But it feels like he went into surgery with a boyfriend who he planned an entire future with, and woke up to find that said boyfriend has planned a whole different future. Without him in it. They only started dating officially when they were freshmen in high school, but even before that it was quite obvious to everyone around them that they'd end up together. Neither one of them ever tried dating anyone else, and now Sanada is _proposing_.

The anger is spreading through his body, but beneath it there's a layer of disappointment, of depression. Sanada didn't do anything wrong. Yukimura couldn't expect him to wait all those years, not knowing if he was ever going to open his eyes.

Except, he thinks he himself _would have_ waited for Sanada, if it was the other way around, because he couldn't imagine his life with someone else, would rather age and die alone than be with someone who isn't Genichirou. So how could Sanada have built a life with someone else?

"Do you love her?" He doesn't know why he is asking, why he is causing himself that pain, but the question is out of his mouth before he can stop himself. Maybe he just needs Sanada to confirm it for him that he fell in love with someone else, that Yukimura isn't the only one for him like Sanada is the only one for Yukimura.

"I do," Sanada says.

"What does she look like?" He should stop asking, but apparently he is a masochist.

"Seiichi..."

"What does she look like?" he repeats, letting his anger slip into his voice.

Sanada moves around a little bit, his hands leaving their place around Yukimura's body and fumble in his pockets. He takes out his wallet and brings his arms around him again, because he can't move freely with Yukimura still in his lap.

He shows Yukimura his opened wallet, where a small picture of a sweet looking girl with indigo hair and a bright smile shows at the front. She seems cute, and it doesn't make Yukimura all that happy.

But then he nods and Sanada starts pulling back his wallet, and something else catches Yukimura's eyes. He catches Sanada's wrist and pulls out a picture that he apparently keeps behind his girlfriend's picture.

There is a tightness in his throat that almost hurts as Sanada freezes behind him and he looks at the picture. It's been a long time, but Yukimura still remembers the moment the flash of the camera made them break their kiss. They thought they were alone, sneaked away during a lunch break in their school trip, but Marui caught them. They both looked at the camera, faces flushed and surprised, Sanada's hand still in Yukimura's hair and his own hand clenched on the front of Sanada's jacket.

It was a happy day, about a year before his surgery.

Sanada takes the picture out of his hand gently and puts it back into place. "I asked Marui to send me that picture a couple weeks after he took it, and have been carrying it in my wallet ever since then."

Yukimura doesn't say a word and closes his eyes again after Sanada settles comfortably around him once again. He doesn't mention the tears as they come and he tries to not shake too much, but he thinks he might be failing with that one. He falls asleep in Sanada's lap while the tears keep trickling.

~

With a promise to Yukimura to come back the next day, Sanada finally leaves the hospital. Yukimura should get some time alone with his family, time to process all the things he had learned ever since he woke up, and Sanada needs to get back home and get out of this uncomfortable suit. It is wrinkled all over from the way he sat on Yukimura's bed, but it is nothing a washing machine and an iron can't solve.

It's only when he opens the door to the darkness of the house that he suddenly remembers all the candles he set up yesterday and the romantic décor on the roof. The candles are not there anymore. When he walks into the kitchen, he finds them piled up on the table, their wicks all black.

What did Ayame think, coming home to hundreds burning candles, to thousands rose petals arranged in a huge heart shape?

There is a note on the fridge that wasn't there when Sanada last left the house, and he walks closer to read it.

_Genichirou,_

_I called in sick for you, so you have no trouble at work. There's chicken and rice in the fridge._

_Ayame_

There is a small heart drawn by her name, something she always does, and it makes Sanada smile. The long hours since he received Yuzuki-san's call made it seem as if his world was crumbling around him, that nothing is as it used to be anymore, but Ayame still signs her name with a heart, and she still makes sure he has food in the fridge when she knows he hasn't got time to cook. Some things didn't change.

When Ayame comes home from work that night, Sanada is already in bed. He isn't sleeping, just reading a book in the warmth of their bedroom, though "reading" probably isn't the word to use when he spends more time staring at the pages with a blank face than he does reading the words on them.

"I'm back," she says quietly, leaning on the doorframe with a small smile.

Sanada looks up, startled by her voice. He hasn't heard her getting inside the house. "Welcome back," he replies, setting his book aside.

She watches him for a couple more moments before walking inside the room, hanging her handbag on the anchor by the door and taking a seat by his side. She leans over to place a small kiss on his lips, and then she waits.

He knows what she's waiting for, but the words seem to be stuck in his throat. How is he supposed to tell her what happened? Where he has been last night?

"You've never canceled any plans we had," she says after she realizes he isn't going to speak, getting up from the bed and starting to take off her clothes.

"I'm sorry," he answers, watching her undress.

She takes the old shirt she uses as pajamas – one of his old t-shirts – and gets ready for bed. "It's okay that something came up. It happens. I'm not angry."

He nods. "I know you're not."

Their conversation stops for a few minutes as she walks out and into the bathroom on the other side of the corridor to brush her teeth. When she gets back and settles comfortably in the bed, lying on her side and looking at him, he continues.

"I got a call from Yukimura-san yesterday."

She frowns, but says nothing.

"Sei – Yukimu – Seiichi woke up."

Ayame nods, still not saying anything. Sanada looks away, not wanting to see her eyes, knowing the full weight of his words will down on them soon enough; knowing _she_ knows all the things he doesn't say out loud.

~

Yukimura waits until he is alone with his mother before he asks her to tell him everything about Sanada, because his father has never approved of his son's sexuality and his brother never knew.

Yukimura Yuzuki, on the other hand, accepted Sanada and treated him like a third son, and Yukimura knew that she kept in touch with his… _not_ boyfriend.

So when his father takes Ren home for the night and his mother stays to sleep in a cot bed in his hospital room, Yukimura finally lets the dam break and the questions be asked. "When did he meet her?"

His mother doesn't pretend she doesn't understand what he is asking, just sighs and takes a seat next to his bed. "He met her a few years ago, and they started seeing each other a couple months later, I believe. It was back in the days he used to spend all his free time here."

"Here?" Yukimura asks, puzzled.

The soft expression on his mother's face could break his heart. "Genichirou-kun kept coming for years. During the last year of high school and then the first years of university, he came here every day." This _does_ break his heart a little bit. Sanada spent so much time by his side, even when the years went by and he didn't wake up.

 _But he left, eventually,_ that little voice in his head reminds him, the same one that constantly says that if it was the other way around Yukimura would have stayed by Sanada's bed for as long as it took.

 _But you don't know what it was like for him,_ he tells himself. _You can't even begin to imagine what he was going through._

"Such a sweet boy, he is," his mother continues, either unaware to the internal struggle her son is having or ignoring it. "I used to come and visit you after work only to find him sitting here with his homework spread all over your bed." She stops for a moment, looks at him with a worried expression before adding, "That's how he met Ayame-chan, at the end."

Yukimura frowns. "What do you mean?"

"She was studying to become a nurse, and they met here in the hospital. That was in Genichirou-kun's second year of university."

Yukimura can't decide if the idea that Sanada had spent so much time by his side that he actually managed to develop a relationship with a girl from the hospital staff makes him more happy or sad.

His mother's hand caressing the side of his head brings him out of the thoughts he sank into. "She is a lovely girl, if it makes it better. She cares about him a lot."

It doesn't really make it better, but he nods anyway.

"You sound like you've met her."

His mother doesn't exactly look embarrassed, but she turns her eyes away from his and withdraws her hand. "Genichirou-kun is always welcomed at our home, Seiichi. We stayed in touch through the years. We've met Ayame-chan a couple times when they came over for dinner."

This – _this_ – is what breaks him in that conversation. Not the fact that Sanada has a new girlfriend, but the fact that his parents have welcomed that new girlfriend that easily, that's what triggers the tears. His mother should be on _his_ side, to reject Sanada's girlfriend because Sanada belongs with Yukimura. She shouldn't invite that girl over for dinner and treat her like she approves of her being there.

"Seiichi –"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore."

He turns away in his bed and says nothing more for the rest of the evening.

~

Ayame does not ask where he is going when he gets out that day, even though he doesn't take the usual bag he takes when he goes to work. When they got out of bed that morning she got ready for work and smiled over the breakfast Sanada had cooked, and she talked about the weather, and what she will have for dinner, and the patient in room 1254 that refuses to leave the hospital because he is convinced he is still dying.

To Sanada, it seems that she is still trying to process the news from last night. He felt her turn around in bed all night, heard her sniffing her nose like she was crying at some point. He couldn't miss it, since he himself couldn't get any sleep.

The thing is, he thinks as he gets into the car and starts the engine, he loves Ayame. He loves her from the bottom of his heart, wouldn't have planned to propose to her if he didn't love her. He could see a future for them – a house with a picket fence, and kids running around in the backyard, and them growing old together in that harmony they share.

But before Ayame, and the house and the kids, there was Seiichi. Seiichi, and the future he could see _with him_ , peaceful and distant and just the two of them. There would be no wedding, and no kids, but they would live in a place where they could walk in the street holding hands without anyone staring, and they would spend the evenings curled together under a blanket and tease each other about their habits and their jobs.

Sanada was only 18 when Yukimura went into that surgery, but he was already planning their life together. He knows Yukimura was, too.

When he first met Ayame, he was a broken person. His days revolved around sitting by Yukimura's bed, going to the hospital before school and coming back after practice, only to be told by the nurses that he had to leave when visiting hours ended. Some part in him, that stubborn, determined, obstinate part, kept insisting Yukimura would wake up. Even as the months turned into a year and then two, even when he stopped wearing Rikkai's uniform and started going to university, and the other boys from the tennis team slowly drifted away – even then he kept believing Yukimura would open his eyes and they would take off from where they stopped.

Ayame was new in the hospital. She was still studying, and she was the only one who didn't know him already, and she was the only one who dared asking him why he kept coming. After all, Yukimura's _family_ stopped showing up more than once a month or so at some point.

The blue-haired girl with the innocent smile and the cheerful way she had to view the world reminded him so much of Yukimura when her "Are you okay?" and "Do you need anything, Sanada-san?" questions turned to full length conversations as time passed, that he found himself finally being pulled away from his kind-of-ex-but-not-really-boyfriend, only to be drawn to her instead.

She never asked him to stop visiting Yukimura, never tried to haul him away from Yukimura's bedside, but at some point he did. First it was for a date with her, then just to study for an exam in the comfort of his house, and without realizing it his visits turned less and less frequent, until he only showed up on Yukimura's birthdays or rare occasions when he felt like he had to talk to someone and didn't have anyone else to go to.

He is so deep in thoughts of the past that he doesn't realize he's parked in the hospital's parking lot until he locks the car.

Yukimura is asleep when Sanada walks into his room, so Sanada just sits down and picks up a book that was probably left there by Yuzuki-san, some romance novel that doesn't seem to be his favorite type of story. He starts reading it anyway.

~

"The doctor says you can go home. I've got the discharge papers."

It has been two weeks, and the hospital bed started getting on Yukimura's nerves. He'd been checked on by three different doctors – none who knew to explain why he suddenly woke up, but all claimed he was fit to be discharged. They scheduled him for physio twice a week for the next two months and told him to come for a standard check up in a month.

The drive home goes by silently. The neighborhood is pretty much the same as he remembers it, the houses still where they were and the names on the signs all familiar, but the Abe family's house is painted now with some hideous shade of pink and the Matsumoto family's one has a second floor **which didn't use to be there**.

Yukimura's father carries the small bag they brought Yukimura the day after he woke up, and his mother helps him out of the car and into the house. He has to lean on her more than he likes, but his muscles aren't yet strong enough to walk far distances on his own. Months of being ill followed by years of lying in bed leave their mark on one's body.

There are new photographs on the wall, displaying Ren as he turned from a young boy into a teenager, and Yukimura stops to stare for a while. His mother waits patiently.

His bedroom is on the second floor, and his mother comments on maybe switching with them so he doesn't have to take the stairs to get there. He dismisses the idea.

"I cleaned a little yesterday, but it's still pretty much the same as you left it," she says when he finally opens the door.

His bed is made and the curtains are opened, allowing the light into the room in which he spent his childhood. His old textbooks are neatly piled on the desk, the pages already turning yellow from years of neglect, his sketchbooks right next to them.

"Would you like me to leave you alone?" his mother asks.

He nods.

"Call me if you need anything." She helps him to his bed and then leaves the room, leaving the door opened.

For a few minutes Yukimura just sits motionless, soaking in the familiar surroundings, and then he pushes himself up from the mattress. It's only a few steps from where he is to the desk, but he trips anyway trying to get there. He hurries to sit down and sighs when he makes it.

When he last left the room, before his surgery, he left it neat and tidy in a way he'd never bothered with before, knowing he might not survive the surgery and come back. He reaches for the sketchbook at the bottom of the pile and opens it. His stuff are all where he's left them, so that should also be—yes.

Between the pages of the sketchbook there is a piece of paper he wrote for Sanada to find in case he died from the surgery. He unfolds the page with shaking hands and reads it, the words familiar as if he wrote them weeks ago, not years. Cheesy, stupid words, talking about love and eternity.

~

At first Sanada doesn't know what to expect, but soon enough his life go back to a normal routine. He goes to work in the mornings, visits Yukimura a few times a week in the evenings and goes to bed with Ayame at night. He talks to Renji every day when they eat lunch in the teachers' lounge and prepares his classes when he has free time.

His life is back to normal, only—it isn't.

He spends a lot more time with Yukimura than he does with Ayame, and when he sees her they barely talk. He kisses her good morning and goodnight, and he asks her about her day and tells her about his, but their words lack the usual passion they used to have.

Sanada still hopes for things to be the same again so he says nothing, and the only time in the next two months Ayame mentions Yukimura's name is when she asks how he's doing and Sanada says he's doing as well as one can imagine.

The engagement ring he bought all those months ago lays forgotten in the back of his side of the closet.

 

One day Yukimura tells him he's planning to finish his education, to take private tutors to teach him what he didn't learn in high school and take the final exams, and then to go to college.

"It's late, and I'm 24, I know that, but if I don't do it I'll go crazy."

Sanada agrees. "It's a good idea. I'm sure it's not too late."

"I'll study arts. I don't think I'll ever play tennis again, but I still love drawing."

Sanada hums, sprawled on his back with his eyes closed. They have been meeting in the park for the last few weeks, because Yukimura's room feels weird when they are both in their mid-twenties and Sanada won't bring Yukimura to Ayame's house out of consideration.

"Say, Genichirou, will you model for me again?"

Sanada opens his eyes to meet Yukimura's, as the blue-haired boy hovers above him with a mischievous smile. "Seiichi," he warns, feeling his cheeks heating up a little bit.

Yukimura disappears from his view and a moment later Sanada feels him dropping to his back beside him, hears the small "ooff" as he hits the ground. "Fine, fine."

When they were in high school, he would model for Yukimura so his boyfriend could work on his anatomy drawing. Yukimura would lock his door and arrange Sanada in the pose he wanted him on his bed, and then he'd sit for hours and just draw Sanada's naked body. It used to be embarrassing in the beginning, but at some point it just… stopped. It was something they did.

Ever since Yukimura woke up, he'd throw into their conversations references to their old ways together, when they were a couple, or he'd touch Sanada in a way that was no longer respectable for a man in a relationship with another.

Sanada would look at him sternly or reprimand him for his actions, and some light would leave Yukimura's eyes.

 

"I talked to Renji yesterday," Yukimura tells him about a week later. This time they are at a small café for a Saturday lunch. "He says Jackal promised to come to his wedding, so we are all going to be there."

Sanada nods, smiling. "Yes, he told me. It's going to be good to see everyone again. I think the last time I saw Marui was over a year ago, when his daughter was born, and I haven't seen Jackal since he came to visit three years ago."

"I always thought we would be the first to settle down. No wedding, obviously, but a joint bank account and a house we'd buy together, and maybe a small ceremony with just our family and friends."

Sanada watches Yukimura's face as he sips from his tea and for a moment admits to himself that he wishes they'd got to have that future Yukimura was talking about.

"I thought that too," he finally says.

~

In the beginning of September Yukimura kisses Sanada.

They are in the park that Yukimura has come to refer to as "theirs", and Sanada talks about going back to work and the urge to catch his lips with his own takes over his body, spreading through his veins. The next moment Yukimura is on top of Sanada, his tongue begging for entrance into Sanada's mouth and his run through his black hairs.

Yukimura wanted to do it from the moment he woke up in the hospital a little over three months ago, but forced himself to not do it every time he thought about it out of respect to Sanada's girlfriend.

For a few long moments Sanada returns Yukimura's kiss, but then he pushes him away. Yukimura wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and watches him.

"I can't," Sanada says after a strained silence. "I can't do this, Seiichi."

~

Ayame eventually breaks. Sanada should have seen it coming, but the optimist in him refused to admit it until it happened.

"I need to know," she says one evening when they are getting ready for bed, her eyes expressing sadness that doesn't quite fit her ever-smiling face.

Sanada looks up. "Need to know what?"

She bites her lower lip, something she only does when she is nervous. "Is there any point in waiting for you?" she asks, her eyes shining with tears she is probably trying to stop. "Will I ever have you back? Or is it just… a waste of time?"

"You have me," he says. "I'm here."

With a hand running through her hair, the tears finally start. "You were going to propose. I'm not an idiot, Genichirou, I knew you were going to propose that night. I didn't say anything, because you were supposed to… I don't know… you were supposed to come around and try again, but I no longer feel like I even have a boyfriend these days."

He doesn't know what to say.

"You still love him." It isn't a question.

"Yes," he answers anyway.

"And me?"

"I—" he can't complete the sentence.

She sits on the bed and buries her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking. Sanada walks over and places his hand on her back. "I'll sleep in the guest room for now. I'll start looking for a new place tomorrow." Ayame's cries just become louder by his words. "I'm sorry, Ayame."

~

"Buchou!"

Yukimura turns around just in time to catch a very excited Kirihara Akaya in a tight hug. Laughing, he squeezes the younger man and pets his head. "It's good to see you, Akaya." He doesn't comment on the "buchou", rather liking being called that again.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come and see you earlier, but my coach just wouldn't let me mess with my schedule when the Roland Garros and Wimbledon were just around the corner. I only have a week before going back to prepare for the US Open."

"I saw your matches," Yukimura tells him. "You've improved a lot. Well done."

Akaya practically beams, 22 years old but still the kouhai who wanted nothing more than to get his senpai's approval. "Wait until you see me on hard surface! Clay and grass aren't my strongest fields, but I will definitely win the US Open, I can feel it in—here's our table!"

The card on the table says "24", matching their own cards. It is still empty, so Yukimura just chooses one of the seats and sits down. Akaya takes the one next to him and continues talking like he's never stopped.

"If you don't interrupt him he'll never shut up, you know," a familiar voice says behind them. When they both turn to look, Yukimura's eyes meet the grinning face of Niou. The trickster's hair is no longer bleached white, now sporting his natural dark brown, but everything else about him hasn't changed a bit. He ruffles Akaya's hair, making the latter frown in annoyance. "He can go on forever about his career." Turning to Yukimura, he adds, "It's great to see you well again."

"Indeed it is," another voice adds, Yagyuu approaching the table, a beautiful woman by his side. "Welcome back, Yukimura-kun. This is my girlfriend, Kurosawa Matsuko."

Yukimura stands up to hug his old friends and shake Yagyuu's girlfriend hand. "No girlfriend for you?" he asks Niou, claiming his seat again.

Niou shrugs and sits on Yukimura's other side. "You know me, I haven't changed."

Marui arrives next, a toddler in a pink princess dress in his arms and a girl that Yukimura remembers from high school trailing by his side. "Hey," he says, hugging everyone with one arm, lingering just a bit longer with Yukimura. "Welcome back, Buchou."

Yukimura smiles at him. "Thank you, Marui. Good to see you again. You too, Miyo-chan." He turns his attention to the kid in Marui's hands. "And who is this beautiful creature?"

Marui bounces his now-blushing daughter on his hip. "Say hello to Yukimura, Anzu."

Jackal arrives fifteen minutes later, a short brunette with freckled face and a huge smile holding his hand.

"There aren't enough chairs," Yukimura says when the two take their seats, leaving only one empty.

But then Sanada shows up – alone.

~

At some point during the evening, Sanada sneaks outside. The evening wind blows in his hair as he leans over the rail of the venue's balcony, his eyes closed.

"You look awful."

"Thanks."

When he opens his eyes, Yukimura is leaning against the rail next to him, his hands crossed in front of his chest.

"You're here alone."

"Yes." If Yukimura wants to play the let's-state-the-obvious-game, Sanada isn't going to stop him.

"Where is Ayame?"

Sanada sighs and turns around so he is facing the venue's doors like Yukimura. "We broke up last week. I… couldn't give her what she needed anymore."

"Oh."

The silence that follows should have been awkward, but it's never the case with Yukimura. Instead of that itching need to feel the air with words, they both remain quiet.

Somehow, a few minutes later, Sanada has Yukimura in his arms. The lithe man wraps his arms around Sanada's waist and leans his head against his chest, and Sanada returns the hug and closes his eyes, laying his chin on Yukimura's head. It feels intimate and private and _good_ , and Sanada doesn't want to let go.

"I really want to kiss you," Yukimura mumbles, his words muffled by Sanada's shirt.

"Okay."

And then Yukimura's mouth is there, warm and demanding, and Sanada kisses him with the same need he knows Yukimura is feeling. Their tongues meet and he moans, or maybe it's Yukimura, Sanada doesn't really care.

When they finally break the kiss, Yukimura smiles up at him. "I missed you, Genichirou."

Sanada pecks his lips again. "Me too."

Yukimura takes a step back, grabbing Sanada's hand in his. "Come dance with me."

"I don't dance."

Yukimura's smile grows. "Do it for me."

Sanada does, and when he holds Yukimura and swirls him around the dancefloor, he doesn't care who looks at them and what people have to say. He is completely focused on Yukimura.


End file.
